"It isn't normal to know what we want. It is a rare and difficult psychological achievement."- Abraham Maslow
I have a chronic condition. I call it Youshouldbe-itis. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, I ALWAYS have a voice in my head saying "But you should be doing this other thing...". Whether it's working on my to-do list(s), socialising, relaxing or exercising, I have a niggling feeling at the back of my mind that there's something else I've forgotten to do or have wrongly prioritised. Do you suffer from Youhouldbe-itis too?
It's not an enjoyable state of mind. It makes it difficult to truly feel a sense of achievement - even if, on paper, you're doing an incredible amount of great things and being a wonderfully fulfilled human being in everyone else's eyes. It takes a good deal of care and focus to stop and take the time to trust that what you're doing is what you NEED to be doing.
It helps if you're clear about your life purpose. I love the coaching exercise that helps you to understand, define and refine what it is that represents your unique strength; the 'you-ness' that you bring to the world. It involves working with your coach to create a phrase that you mull around until it feels really right for you, that incorporates your values, passion and beliefs. And you return to that phrase whenever you find yourself knocking around, uncertain of your path and what you're up to. Being clear about your life purpose helps you to remember what you want to be and do - and perhaps more importantly why.
It's the dose of medicine I need to take to knock this bout of Youshouldbe-itis on the head.